Alright, here’s what I have to say.

We all have that one very cool, trendy and fun friend who we enjoy being with a lot, and for some reason you really just desire getting ‘into’ them, but they just won’t yield. The kind of friend that’s so cool they have all the box office movies before they hit the cinemas (movies that you’ll love to see but can’t quite afford to go see all of them in the cinema), and all the billboard top songs before Soundcity and MTV, but for some reason they just won’t ‘share’ them with you. You know a friend like that? That’s great!
So, the next time they show up at your place and they’re looking all attractive in an ‘up-to-date’ kind of way. Here’s what you could do: make them a really nice spicy meal, with lots of pepper, and serve them with lots to drink so that there’s no way they would leave your house without using the toilet. While they’re busy making a mess of your toilet, get out your device(s), maybe your flash drive or hard disk and plug into their device(s) till you come to the point where you are satisfied and won’t require another round till their next visit. This act is aptly called ‘Rape’.

If you are the cool, trendy and fun friend who is likely to get raped in this manner, the one way to protect the dignity of your device(s) is to password protect them, and be sure to carry your phone or tablet with you when using the toilet of your friend you suspect is likely to rape your devices.

Now, if you opened this link with the hope of reading me tell you that there is any instance where it is okay for anyone to have sex, or perform sexual acts on another individual without consent, then you have come to the wrong place. And if you ever find anyone who tells you that such barbaric act is acceptable for any reason, he/she/it is evil and cursed. That said, if you insist on raping something, how about you take a long, fat stick and shove it up your ass several times, till it comes, and by coming I mean till it comes out the opposite side of your anus.





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